February 12, 2016

  • Just before 6:00, awake. Grab Jawbone fitness tracker.
  • This is a work day. 4 classes to teach.
  • shower
  • Worry about star pattern light in my left eye – still recovering from cataract surgery.
  • Got meditation example ready for class later – made sure speaker was working, etc.
  • Thought about the Democratic presidential primary debate.
  • Thought of writing Bernie Sanders urging him to make the full connection between the environment, economic security, and national security, how they all relate and why it matters.
  • Heard squeak upstairs in the floor. D (wife) is up.
  • Writing these notes.
  • Cocktail pianist thoughts. I think I’d like to be Sam in Casablanca – or someone like that in an old movie, not the guy who is the center of attention but the person helping a small crowd to sing together.
  • S (daughter) greets me up the stairs with a math problem. Even before ‘good morning.’
  • Urge girls to get up
  • “it can’t be a case of torture because torture doesn’t exist in Egypt” – heard on NPR story on radio.  Orwell lives, I think.
  • Put casters under bed that I bought yesterday.
  • Compliment G (other daughter) on helping with the casters.
  • Hang towel.
  • Fix hair
  • Take dog out. I think ‘No stars out’ and ‘who is that neighbor a few houses down? I don’t know a thing about him’ as he drives by.
  • “Let’s Dance” by David Bowie is in my head.
  • “Don’t finish off the Honey Bunches of Oats in one day” I say to S.
  • in my head, “put on your red shoes and dance the blues.”
  • Tell D. about Bernie Sanders’ comment about Mohammed Mossadegh in last night’s debate. I’m glad he’s critical of foreign intervention and regime change. Most of America has no clue what he’s talking about with that.
  • Ask girls if they’re interested in going to the BSU women’s basketball game.
  • Peanut spill at breakfast
  • “oh, god…” (typing it up a day later I can’t remember what that note means)
  • Discussion of siloing with D.
  • Mention Pat’s idea for a Bob Dylan 75th birthday bash
  • S. and G. screeching
  • “Stop IT!!!” – G.
  • Roman empire mentioned on NPR.
  • Teeth brushing drama with the girls
  • “she called me mean”
  • me – “put down the selfie stick and iPod and get ready for school!”
  • ‘Once there was a way’ from the song “Golden Slumbers” by The Beatles is stuck in my head.
  • Kiss and drop the girls at school – it’s 7:50 a.m.
  • Discuss Ferguson departure rumours with D.
  • At the office in the Honors College – hang up coat and gloves and hat
  • Prep for class
  • Looked up “fraudulence” to see if I’m forgetting an alternate meaning or origin. Nothing.
  • Checked email
  • Read a reminder from Pat to do the thing I am typing now. On it!
  • Thought of band practice last night.
  • “Golden Slumbers” still on auto-repeat.
  • Headache already started.
  • Eye bugging me.
  • Start watching a Coursera class on Seeing with Photography produced by the Museum of Modern Art. Got an email about it. I hear Vik Muniz talk about seeing photographs as a process rather than a product. I like that idea.
  • Ok, stop this. Grade daily writing.
  • Check Blackboard to remind myself of the prompt I wrote.
  • Sudden eye pain drama – drops help. Thankful I remembered to bring them.
  • Grading
  • Listen to Biosphere for vague, non-intrusive mood music. From my “Still and Creepy” playlist.
  • Thinking about thesis statements. How much do I want to talk about that today?
  • More Coursera MOMA photo class viewing.
  • I get a last-minute idea for Honors class a few minutes away.
  • Talked thesis writing in class
  • Answered a question about simony. Why don’t they ever look stuff up?
  • “Ok, but so what?” I say to a number of students.
  • Walked around room.
  • “his elipses aren’t right” J. says to another student.
  • She later undoes mine on the board. Ok.
  • Listening for big ideas in the small group discussions.
  • Panderers and pimps in Dante.
  • Writing these notes
  • It’s 11:00 a.m.
  • Checking Headspace meditation audio for 12:00 class.
  • Back to email.
  • Sketchbook Skool email reminds me I should probably do that again and get back to sketching. “That was good for me” I think.
  • I hear the 11:00 emergency alarm test.
  • Watch a short Bowie video from C. of a song we tried last night.
  • I think, “Modern Love” is one of my least favorite Bowie tunes.
  • Back to grading daily work.
  • I think, “I feel I have more purpose and am happier on class days than non-class days.” This suggests I need a personal project to give some more focus to my life.
  • No lunch from home so a Clif bar and a soda for me.
  • “What did Ed Ball think about as he went down these basement stairs for decades?” I think as I get a soda from the basement fridge.
  • Texted SB about her drink invitation.
  • Watched interview with V.M. on photography. He photographed his own version of Stieglitz’ equivalents on the floor of MOMA. A guard told him to stop even though taking pictures of the art is usually ok.
  • Thought about making my work more material, more manifest. To that end, working with a set matte size with a set frame opening, maybe a small 4×4 square in a rectangular matte opening.
  • But what’s the project? A flash-learning thing?
  • Why do frames matter?
  • Set up audio for meditation demo in classroom.
  • Bathroom break and handwash
  • Thought about last night’s band practice. Bowie’s “Starman” felt good to sing and play.
  • Polaroid size, why?
  • Airplane mode for the phone.
  • I think, ‘What can I look up on the internet in the next 3 minutes for entertainment on the computer before class begins? I chastise myself for thinking this way.
  • I write these notes instead.
  • It’s 12:00. Time for my Honors class. We start with a 20 minute guided meditation.
  • I have difficulty focusing – it’s been better, it’s been worse.
  • Thought about the idea of “paying attention.”
  • Thought about my phone being in airplane mode (I’m still in class and supposed to be meditating) and how I wouldn’t hear the text alert.
  • Then I drifted off into a daydream about what I would do to help this class if there was an active shooter situation on campus. I heard myself talking to students. What would our best move be?
  • After meditation I ask them, “How did it feel to be a swinging door of the universe?”
  • Paying attention as sacrifice
  • What are we paying, what are we giving up? Are we?
  • I notice 12 panes on that window, 1 ½ hidden.
  • Terrible monkey mind in the 1:00 class meditation session.
  • Discussion of meditation in class.
  • Class over.
  • Check email.
  • Read debate coverage in Slate.
  • Thought about tilt-shift lenses. Looked up Lensbaby prices online.
  • Had a snack.
  • “These Scrabble Cheez-its” taste better than regular ones. How could printing a letter in them make them taste better?
  • Brief conversation with office mate JP.
  • Revised recommendation letter for JF.
  • Apologized to a stranger for something I didn’t do in order to help someone else. No big deal.
  • Saw JR. Looked not good, ashen, face seemed smaller. Very sad to see his condition.
  • Left the office. Office mate nowhere to be seen to say goodbye to. Ok.
  • Walked to Burris briskly to pick up younger daughter. Very cold.
  • Waited in hallway. Thought about using cellphone. Did not.
  • Talked to Mrs. K. about how 3rd grade parties are more tiring than teaching third grade. Regretted how I phrased it as it made it sound like teaching wasn’t that hard, which it is.
  • Walked with G. out to car. Wife waiting. Drove us home.
  • Did some picking up.
  • Experimented with my new flashes and softbox, trying to learn lighting.
  • Went back to get older daughter, S. at 4 from basketball practice. She got to be point guard. I’m not really sure what that is or how it works. She calls plays.
  • Got home. Went back to flash photography practice.
  • Looked through stuff in closet. Where did that grid spot go? Must’ve sold it.
  • Wife went to a work thing.
  • Made a dinner of lentils and sweet potatoes. Lots of chopping. Listened to Al Green, Alice Cooper, The Beatles, others I can’t remember. “Let’s Stay Together” came up 3 times. Ok.
  • One hour spent cooking. I’m slow at prep. Don’t enjoy it.
  • Dinner was blah, not a great dish.
  • Girls bickered, then that fell into a meltdown from S.
  • My 40 minutes of meditation in two classes earlier and maybe my beer helped me stay calm. Mostly the meditation. I was in a mellow place before that beer.
  • Lots of drama. They never want to try new foods. Very frustrating.
  • Played the 1916 piano. Played “Starman” by David Bowie, “East of the Sun, West of the Moon” with its great chord progressions. Probably the best moment of the evening, playing that piano. I’m terrible but I don’t care. I enjoy simply singing and playing.
  • Maybe I want to be Bob N.
  • I could be Ralph Sharon, accompanying Tony Bennett, or at least that’s the daydream I had afterward while I listened to them play as I cleaned the kitchen.
  • D checked out on crosswords. Lots to think about. Seems cross and/or tired.
  • Girls need to get to bed. Getting up now to move that along.
  • Dishes not done. Done.
  • Watched Carol.
  • Mellow harshed. Frustrated.
  • Thin mints relief.
  • To bed.
  • Done.

 

  • End of Diary

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